Wednesday, June 28, 2006


So last night I went out with this chick, i didn’t know she liked me but that’s just how it turned out in the end. Anyway I kissed and fuck I regret it, but that’s not important, whats important is the shit that went down afterwards. I parked my car outside my flat and I saw this guy who I thought was waiting for me to get out so he could mug, I was like, fuck a black guy, fuck I’m gonna get mugged, fuck better look tough fuck, so I got out of my car and acted all tough like and the guy came up to me. He opened his mouth and it was so incredibly placid, I lost all my fear immediately, fuck the guy wouldn’t have hurt a fly. He told me this story about he was a refuge from the sudan and told me someone told him, he barely spoke English, that he had to get the place on this piece of paper. He had to get to Plet…. Plet is 600km away…. Jesus… the guy had no idea where the fuck was, he might as well have been on alpha centauri in a klingon city. How did he get here, why was here? what happened? why? why? why? he said he’d been waiting besides the N2 (major freeway) for transport to get there for three days… he said he hadn’t eaten in three days… by the way he talked, by the his body language, by the way he could barely speak English or even fucking speak I believed him right out. I gave the guy 20 rand, a lot to give a beggar and told him to get some food at the 7/11. Fuck it hit me hard, fuck it was gut wrenching, I’ve never been able to relate to people like that. Never been able to feel their pain until last night. Now I understand, for a brief moment I knew what it was like to be an outcast in the world, to be dirt that no one cares about to be a million miles away from the world you know, a world destroyed because some rich cunt in some biz suit didn’t like your people, I don’t know. The word refugee is always going to mean something to me know. There is a sickness in the human condition, refugees, outcasts, lost souls are the symptoms. I got a tiny glimpse last night

Tuesday, June 27, 2006


I had the most profound and moving moment today, something cut me deep and has made me reconsider myself and the human condition. I'm still trying to capture what it meant and it's late so i'll continue this tomorrow.